• by fhqwhgads on 11/7/2023, 11:50:48 PM

    lol

    putting together a kid's play kitchen at 2am on christmas directed by Michael Bay FADE IN:

    INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

    CAMERA PANS across a Christmas tree adorned with twinkling lights.

    WHIP PAN to an unopened BOX marked “KID'S PLAY KITCHEN.” A clock nearby shows “2AM”.

    CLOSE UP on the sweaty face of JACK (40s, ruggedly handsome.) He rips open the box with determination in his eyes.

    CUT TO:

    INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER

    Jack has laid out all the KITCHEN PIECES across the floor.

    He stares at the ASSEMBLY MANUAL, its instructions seemingly written in another language.

    Suddenly, the MANUAL bursts into flames.

    JACK (Voiceover): "No instructions... no problem."

    ACTION MUSIC begins to blare.

    Whip pan to a DRONE SHOT of Jack furiously assembling the play kitchen, explosions occasionally erupting from the pieces as if they were Transformers transforming.

    CUT TO:

    INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER

    Jack struggles with a particularly difficult PIECE, wrestling with it like it's a live alligator.

    Suddenly, a PHONE RINGS. Jack doesn't notice, he's too focused on the task at hand.

    CLOSE UP on the caller ID: "SANTA CLAUS"

    Suddenly, a MISSILE LAUNCHER appears out of the kitchen piece, pointing directly at Jack.

    Jack wrestles the piece to the ground, narrowly avoiding a missile that blasts through the roof, leaving a gaping hole. Snowflakes descend from the sky, accumulating on Jack's sweat-soaked brow.

    CUT TO:

    INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER

    LOW ANGLE SHOT of Jack, now shirtless, standing triumphant above the assembled play kitchen.

    A triumphant ORCHESTRA SCORE swells.

    Suddenly, the newly assembled play kitchen TRANSFORMS into a life-size, fully operational kitchen, complete with a working coffee maker and toaster.

    Jack, amazed, turns the coffee maker on. It promptly EXPLODES, sending him flying across the room.

    CUT TO:

    INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER

    Jack, now bandaged, surveying the wrecked living room. The play kitchen, surprisingly, is still intact.

    Suddenly, from the toaster pops a burnt piece of toast.

    Jack chuckles, picking up the toast. As he bites into it, it EXPLODES, sending crumbs everywhere.

    FADE OUT:

    TO BE CONTINUED...

  • by mdekkers on 11/7/2023, 2:37:31 PM

    This produces text.