Ask HN: How to make living easier for old parents?

by gits1225 on 7/25/2022, 7:05:12 PM with 4 comments

  • by mswen on 7/25/2022, 7:39:27 PM

    It all depends.... if we were having a private conversation I would be asking about all of the following. But I wouldn't really recommend getting too specific about some of these on a public forum.

    > How old?

    > Current health status? Chronic illnesses? Cognitive health?

    > Current level of independence or dependence for daily living?

    > Recognition of need for assistance?

    > Level of wealth, property, investments and liquid cash?

    > Level of income - degree still dependent on parents working FT, PT or now on pension, social security or other retirement monthly income?

    > Level of debts needing to be paid off or serviced?

    > Presence of non-family social support?

    > Living proximity to you?

    > How much time monthly can you devout to helping?

    > What is your own financial strength and ability / willingness to help financially?

    > What level of trust do your parents have in you?

    > How comfortable are your parents with technology?

    > Do your parents have access to high speed internet?

    > Availability of assisted living and/or nursing home facilities

    > And more

    I personally have walked a pretty long road of being the lead caregiver, guardian during 20 years of declining health and increased dependence from my own parents with each eventually dying in their mid-80s.

    It feels like the only generic advice is something like the following.

    > Spend regular time with them and pay attention to changes

    > Keep their dignity in mind - no one likes the process of becoming more dependent on others

    > Be willing to calmly but firmly advocate for them with doctors and institutional caregivers

    > Technology may not help nearly as much as you imagine

    > Effective assistance will be more expensive in time and money than you currently envision

  • by enviclash on 7/25/2022, 8:49:53 PM

    Keep renovating details of their home. Find an unemployed person that can visit/accompany/drive them (doctors, shpping, small home repairs, ...) on a regular basis, like weekly. Find and kick-start them a small orchard. These made a difference in my limited experience.

  • by helph67 on 7/25/2022, 9:54:51 PM

    You could do them (and yourself) a favour by telling them how good the Mediterranean diet is for their health. https://edition.cnn.com/2022/01/04/health/mediterranean-diet...